


Caught In The Crossfire

by mastashcastash



Category: Kpop - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: BTS AU, BTS x Reader, Bts gang au, Multi, bangtan - Freeform, bts - Freeform, bts imagine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-09-02 02:51:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8648866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mastashcastash/pseuds/mastashcastash
Summary: In this business, your past can and will find its way back to you, question is, when that day comes, will you be ready?
Spoiler alert, you won't be.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so thirsty for gang au's lmao let me know if you want any more of this

My eyes searched the café for my friends familiar figure. I checked my phone for the third time in the past ten minutes 'Late again joonie' I let a sigh escape my lips, I wasn’t surprised, I actually figured he'd be late, that’s why I ordered for us, one large hot coco for me and one small latte with a leaf poured in the foam for him.  
For such a intimidating guy he had pretty delicate tastes.  
I couldn’t keep myself from worrying about his whereabouts, I knew the kinda work he did, the kinda life he lived, so every passing moment he wasn't sitting across from me the worst scenario played out in my head- I guess that’s what I get for being his friend though isn't it? He told me about his, uh, 'profession' about a year back, yeah I was freaked out my best friend just so happened to be an infamous gang leader but beneath all that he was like family, and I couldn't just walk away from the only family I had left.

The door chimed with the arrival of a new customer, my head popped up just in time to meet his familiar eyes and catch the smile he saved just for me. He shrugged off his large coat and took a sip off the warm drink in front of him before speaking with a sheepish smile "Sorry I was late-had some uh- business." I raised a hand silencing him "Say no more, how are you?" he had a grateful smile on his face, he was glad I didn’t pry, anytime I got too curious about his job I could feel the fear for me rolling off of him in waves. So I avoided it.  
"Cold as shit and bitter." he replied sipping his drink "Ah so the same as always then?" he laughed into his cup slightly before poking the hand I had curled around my untouched cup. "What's wrong?" I pulled back surprised he could read me so easily- then again I could do the same to him. "It's stupid."  
"If it's making you ignore coco its not stupid." I rolled my eyes at his observation but also found myself smiling "It's just my- stupid ass boss."  
"Ugh you still haven't quit? Come on that guy's an asshole." I sighed taking a sip of my lukewarm drink "It's not that simple- he pays really well."  
It was his turn to scoff now "So constant harassment is worth a fat paycheck?"   
"If it pays for my tuition hell yeah." he laughed leaning into his hand "I could help you, you know this."  
"Ah-ah no, I don’t take hand out's."   
"Your ridiculously stubborn" I shrugged my shoulders he contemplated something with a tiny smirk for a while before suddenly speaking up "Well what if you worked for it?"  
"I haven't reached the desperation of prostitution yet but when I do, you'll be the first to know I swear." he snorted loudly and quickly tried to cover it by gulping down the rest of his latte.  
"Of course that's where your mind goes- nasty." I laughed enjoying his red face "I meant you could be my, assistant of some sort, like a PA, but with way more money."   
"I'll think about it."  
"I'm serious babe, I'd be the best boss." he said leaning back against the booth.  
"Oh yeah, I can't imagine anything better than following you around all day with a clipboard waiting for orders."  
"Pshh, hardest thing I'd ask you to do would be wake me up."  
"That is a job for the good lord, no one should have to go through that experience." he laughed again before stealing the drink from my hand and taking a swig   
"Amen.

It had been a week since I'd last seen Namjoon, a week full of stressful classes, and an even more stressful work environment. That dick of a boss had me working jobs I didn't know how to do, just so he had a reason to yell at me before I went home, today however, took the cake.  
I walked into the office ready to waste my youth typing away in a hidden cubicle resisting the urge to shove a few dozen staples in my mouth when Joe- my boss otherwise known as one form of Satan- called me into his office. I took a few deep breaths before following the slug of a man in his work space. I crossed my legs trying not to get stuck to the worn down pleather of his chairs, he cleared his throat and swiped his tongue over his chapped lips. "So, the company is having to take some drastic cutbacks- which means pink slips are gonna go around faster than an STD at a frat party." I grimaced at his words and he sucked his teeth, beady eyes scanning over my body like a hungry dog looking at a steak.  
"However I like you kid, you got a-' He suddenly pushed off his desk and walked around leaning against it, now a few feet away from me. "-certain spunk, ya know?" I leaned further back in my chair "Uh thank you sir? ..I think." He smiled showing his cigarette stained teeth "I do, you’re a girl who knows how to take her job, seriously." His voice gave me chills on the regular, but saying such creepy shit made me wanna vomit there on the spot, "Well, yeah that’s me." I forced out a chuckle glancing at the door. "Now, even though I like you- unfortunately, I noticed your name on the list earlier." before I could let his words sink in he continued "Yeah, pretty rough stuff huh? I mean, a man in my position could easily get my hands on those papers before they go through their final possessing." he cleaned his nails before bringing his attention back to me. "I'm uh- sorry sir I don't actually understand what-"  
"If you- convince me, I believe you can avoid one of those pesky slips." "Oh well- I mean you said it yourself sir I'm a hard worker- I really need this job I mean im in college-"  
"Nuh uh, with your mouth sweetie." I started at him with a blank face 'He can't actually be serious?...' he answered my unasked question by spreading his legs, he tilted his head with a greasy smirk "How about it sweetie?" I silently stood up, took a step toward him, then proceeded to bring my palm against his face so hard he fell off his desk and onto his stained carpet floor  
"I quit pig."   
After storming out of the office I couldn’t help the angry tears that began to gather in my eyes, I felt violated at the mere suggestion- I stormed my way to the bus station not bothering to hide from the now pouring rain, today was going great. Real great.  
Once I got home I realized I was in too foul a mood even wine and chocolate could fix, I tried calling Joonie but only got his voicemail, so I decided to do the next best thing and go to his house, it didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time, which lead me to where I was now, aggressively ringing his doorbell, my face was puffy and wet, I stopped trying to hold back the waterworks after getting to his house, he would make me feel better, he always did. After five minutes of unanswered knocking I gave in and bent down to lift a large rock and get his spare key, I knew he wouldn’t mind- he got the for me anyway, apparently getting up and getting the door was too much work so he made sure I knew where to find the spare- I unlocked the door and kicked off my boots by the door, I turned on the lights and hung my heavy coat, I sighed happy to have some tension taken away from my shoulders. Making myself comfortable on his couch I snuggled into the soft material that made up the cushions, I found myself quickly dozing off into a dreamless sleep.

Namjoon pov

I rubbed my temples, a muffled scream filled the otherwise quiet warehouse I rested in, today had been a tough one, turf was being treaded on by an opposing group, I hadn't bothered to learn their names- they'd be dealt with soon enough- but their very presence was enough to cause headache, after all I had a reputation to uphold, 'Ruthless Kim' is what most knew me by, at first the name annoyed me, too cheesy I though, but over time, and as I seen the effect it had on people, it grew on me. A man working under me knocked on the door "What." I yelled taking a sip of the drink I'd made earlier. He walked in with his head down, not many of them liked to hold my eye for some reason or another, but I didn’t mind, gave me a sense of power. "S-Sir there's a man out here who said he had a meeting with you." the henchman looked a hell of a lot more nervous than usual, I cocked an eyebrow before finishing off my drink "I told you I wasn’t seeing anyone today."  
"Yes I know boss but-"  
"But what?" I asked quickly getting irritated "I-It's Yoongi." My eyes grew wide before my demeanor was calm again "Well I suppose you should send him in then?" the man nodded before briskly exiting, as I stood the door opened again, the blonde haired man I was all too familiar with entered the room, unlike the man before him yoongi held no nervousness in his aura, funny thing was his attire, he looked more like a college student than an infamous gang leader but then again, blending in was one of his specialty's.   
"Long time no see Kim."   
"Indeed it has been, please sit." I gestured toward the large hair he leaned against but he simply shook his head no, "I'm only here to warn you."  
"Warn me? Might I ask of what?" He met my eyes, and for once I saw something close to fear in them. "Word is Seokjin's back in town." I could actually feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up "That’s…"   
"I know, strange, but a few of my men seen a new face around asking for you." I fought the urge to make a face but my confusion was evident "Only reason we know its connected to Seokjin is because the little guy made sure to convey he was with him." I loosened my tie and deflated in my desk chair "That's just great." Yoongi smirked and pushed himself off the chair "Then I'll be off, let me know if anything comes up yeah?" I nodded still trying to wrap my head around the situation just before he could fully exit I caught his attention "Thanks for the head's up yoon." he nodded with an almost invisible smile before leaving. 'Seokjin always meant trouble, why is he looking for me?' I wondered grabbing my coat, yeah this definitely constitutes taking an early day, on the way out of the warehouse I walked passed my second in command Jungkook- he started out as just another henchman but worked his way up to being my favorite- He didn't talk much but he was damn efficient and smart, only flaw I'd come to see was his inability to keep it in his pants.  
He nodded at me with a raised eyebrow, "Leaving so soon boss?" I shrugged on my coat and sighed "Yep, cover for me will ya? Call if anything serious happens but if you can handle it don't bother me got it?" he nodded again this time smiling, I hopped in my car eager to rid myself of these uncomfortable suit pants and do some more digging on the new kid who was wandering around under Seokjin's order, before pulling out of the driveway I noticed my phone lying on the passenger seat, I opened it without thinking much scanning a few emails before my eyes landed on the missed call from (y/n). I smiled at the thought of the girl, it been a while since we'd last spoken to each other, 'she probably got her hand stuck in a jar again' I snorted lightly at the thought before pressing the call button, it went to voicemail, "Hey, sorry I just got to my phone, pick up next time huh? Maybe we could hang out again later, okay call me back or I'll go to your house an steal all my sweatshirts back." I tossed the device away and made my way home. 

It took about an hour to finally get home, I was dead tired at this point, more than ready to sleep the next few days away. Just as I shoved the key in the lock a voice spoke up from behind me "Geez you've been busy huh?" I turned around, forcing a smile on my face I sighed "Didn’t expect to see you so soon Seokjin." he waved me off "Ah don’t be like that Namjoon! Call me Jin."   
"So uh- Jin- What brings you to my front yard?." Jin smiled innocently- If I weren't as smart as I was I'd be fooled that he was just some average guy- "You’re a hard man to reach, figured I'd just come to you myself."  
"Uh huh, and what exactly are you doing here Jin?" I was beginning to get nervous, Jin was an unpredictable man, and all my gun's were in the house. "I came to talk to you- duh." he laughed to himself before stepping closer "I know you’re a man with- connections, so to speak, figured you'd have a job for me." I nodded trying to read his body language, he seemed okay enough for me to turn my back and finish unlocking the door "we should take this inside yeah?" Jin hummed happily in agreement and waited, just as I swung the door open I realized the lights were on, I clearly remembered turning them off which meant someone was here, and the only other person who had access to my house was- oh my god.  
Jin interrupted my train of thought just as my eyes fell on (y/n)'s huddled figure   
"Huh, never knew you had a girlfriend."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nam's is a jealous babe

Namjoon POV

I swiped at the bathroom's foggy mirror, my hands smudgy print was quickly covered up with more steam. The towel wrapped tightly around my waist was soaked and heavy, but remained in its place. I ran a hand through the knot's in my hair trying my best to hurry, for the first time in 12 days- yeah I've been counting- (y/n) returned my phone call, not only was she talking to me now, she asked to meet at our café.  
I, of course said yes, embarrassingly fast might I add, and I began rushing around my house trying to get ready. I had to pause a few times to make sure I wasn’t having some kinda sleep deprived hallucination, low and behold every time I looked at the phone her call remained in the history. I expected her to be, well, more pissed, if I'm being honest. Then again she wasn’t one to hold a grudge, she had to be one of the, if not the, most understanding person in the world. I fumbled with the zipper of my jeans, my mind going back to the day I told her.

  See, when I first told her about what exactly I did, the company I kept and things I've seen, the plan was for her to run away screaming something along the lines of "Your crazy stay away from me! "   
        Much to my surprise, she stood there a moment before shrugging she told me that 'our pact from fourth grade included never abandoning our best friends, even if they were some kinda kingpin' at that time I smiled and thanked whoever was up there for having someone like her in my life, but when I unintentionally brought her to the attention of a predator like Seokjin, I wish she would have run. Even though it was almost two weeks ago the experience had been haunting me like a ghost.

      After getting over the initial shock of seeing her and letting Jin see her, I tried my hardest not to let that shock show. I couldn't give him a reason to take interest in her, "That's actually just a some girl, I-uh- didn't know she was still here." Ignoring my instincts I turned my back on him to shake her awake. "Hey- you need to leave." My voice came out harsher than I intended. The fear of it all pushed me to ignore her unusually puffy eyes as they fluttered open- she'd been crying. My instincts told me to comfort her, I instead hardened my face.  
         "Joonie-"  
        "Leave. Now." She opened her mouth to respond but I grabbed her by her arm and began dragging her to the door "Never let me catch you here again got it?" I used my work voice trying my best to intimidate her, it looked to work because she harshly pulled away from my grasp, she scoffed "Thanks- just what I needed joon."  I prayed to for her to somehow look in my eyes and understand what I was doing was protecting her, but instead all I saw was hurt. More hurt than I'd ever seen. I shut the door with more force than anticipated, the force was enough to knock a picture off the wall.   
A swell of cold rushed through me, it made me want to crawl in bed and forget the world - But again Jin interrupted my thoughts "Yikes- That was awkward." I forced a chuckle and nodded "Yeah that's- uh anyway, a job right? let me check in and get back to you okay?" Jin nodded with a much too happy smile "You can call me here-" he tossed a card on the table and sighed "-now if you excuse me, I have something to attend to." And with that he left. Immeidenty I tried calling her but of course she let it ring, cursing under my breath, I rang Yoongi, he'd wanna know about this.   
Fucking Seokjin.

I shook away the memories- aka the reminder of my constant state of anxiousness- and tossed on an old oversized sweater. I was leaving twenty minutes earlier than she said to meet just so I wouldn’t be late, 'she'll get a kick outta that' I smiled at the thought of her not hating me. I caught a reflection of myself on the way out the door and had to stop 'Well- I look like shit.' I hoped the bags under my eyes weren't as off putting to her as they were to me. Shaking off my fear as best I could, I headed out.

The worn in bell jingled slightly echoing in the small, homely building, causing the wonderful old woman who worked the register to wave me over frantically. "Namjoon! I was beginning to get worried after not seeing you for so long!." I inhaled the familiar coffee cinnamon deeply before replying with a smile to match hers "Yeah- been a little busy, but I'm back now- (y/n) isn't here yet is she?" Rose, the woman, began making our usual order without hesitation. She pursed her lips confused "Hm, that’s odd she was her earlier- with a rater handsome young man, didn’t think she'd be coming back today." I laughed slightly in disbelief "Are we- uh- talking about the same (y/n)?" she handed over the drinks with a knowing smile "I know that cute little face anywhere." I pulled out my wallet to pay but she smacked at my hand disapprovingly "Put that away- you look like you need a serious cup o' joe anyway." I thanked her and found my seat, even more anxious than before. She was already here? And with a boy? I scoffed out loud sipping at the hot drink, I ignored the numb feeling on my tongue as suddenly a body plopped down in the seat across to me.  
"Never thought I'd see you here before me joon." I locked eyes with the girl who'd been plaguing my thoughts for nearly two weeks, she smirked lightly and gripped the cup of coco "Thanks joonie." I stared at her agape for a moment before smiling "No problem." we sat there in silence for a while before she cleared her throat "Okay- I know I was being super petty for ignoring you and all-" she reached her hand across the table and grabbed my own "-I needed to apologize first off, I was the one over stepping my boundaries I-I'd just quit my job and was a huge mess overall-"  
"Wait back up you quit? Also shut up I was the ass here, but I have a reason, a good one." She laughed slightly "Yeah well, let's just forget this stupid thing already yeah? I miss you." I tightened my grip on her hand and the pent up fear and anxiety's vanished just like that. "So what made you quit?" she snorted and took another sip of her drink "Oh nothing, he asked me to suck his dick or he'd fire me so I slapped him and quit." she nonchalantly said with a smile "Oh I'm gonna kill him." she hushed me with a wave of her free hand "No need, really." I gave her a side eye but accepted he'd have to die from chocking on his own neck roll's rather than by my hand.  
"About damn time- are you ready to come work for me now?" she looked away, her smile growing "Thanks but no thanks. I actually have something lined up- well kinda, he said he'd talk to the owner of the bar for me soon-"  
"Slow down little lady- whos this 'he'?" her grin was contagious even though inside I wanted nothing more than to throw a tantrum.   
"He kinda showed up outta nowhere- but we've been hanging out these past few days."  
"Oh so I've been replaced?" I asked jokingly- or what I hoped came off as jokingly. To my relief she smacked my arm "Don’t be stupid. No one could ever replace you." I sighed and sat back in my seat "Okay, well what are you dating or something?" she sucked her teeth tugging her bottom lip in concentration " I'm not sure- he's really sweet and we've been on like, two dates." rubbing at her face, she groaned in frustration.  
"I don’t know what to do." I swallowed the bitter words that were begging to be spilled from my mouth and instead sighed "Well do you like him?" "I think so- but he's also really mysterious, not in a bad way I think like, he tells me about himself but in super cryptic ways." I arched a brow "Like say I ask him why he moved here ad he says 'to finish some business' and that wouldn’t be weird if you heard how he said it- I don’t know maybe I'm just being paranoid." I shook my head, her story leaving a foul taste in my mouth "What's this guy's name I'll see if he's bad news." she rolled her eyes smiling "Joon, I cant have you running background checks on potential boyfriends." it was my turn to roll my eyes "I have to know you'll be safe- now what's his name." she laughed but pulled a pen out of her bag nonetheless "Kim Seokjin, fancy I know don- hey joonie what's wrong?" she paused her writing to stare at my rigid body.  
All at once I felt my blood run cold, I could feel every hair standing on edge, every nerve in my body screamed at me to grab her and run so, I did.

(Y/n) POV  
Namjoon didn’t stay frozen for long, before I could object he was tugging me out the café, into his car, and we were speeding down a highway. Much faster than need be might I add.  
"What the hell was that?" I yelled over the roar of the engine, he stayed silent eyes staring intently at the road in front of him "Hello? Namjoon?" I asked louder this time, his breathing was hard and heavy, I could see the beads of sweat forming on his face. "Namjoon I swear if you don't start explaining." He inhaled deeply before finally responding "The day I kicked you out- the reason was because he followed me home and I didn’t want to let him know you meant something to me- I had to make him disinterested to keep you safe." I stared at him, my face scrunched in confusion "You know him? Why would I need to be safe from him?" his fingernails dug into the leather of the steering wheel "He's worked for me before."  
"That doesn't really clear things up-"  
"He's a killer (y/n)," he swallowed dryly "-A for hire killer who takes genuine enjoyment from what he does." Suddenly all I had wanted to say fell dead on my lips. The man who'd been comforting me like we'd known each other for years was a killer? The same man who only hours ago, whispered words unlike any other I'd heard before in my ear so quietly, and so sweetly, I knew they were meant only for my ears?  
"More than that is he's smart, he's real smart (Y/n), never failed to take out a target- because he knows how to get in their head, he knows just what to say to gain their trust." Namjoon was flushed with a rage I'd never seen "Wait a minute why's he trying to kill me?" I yelled frustrated "To get back at me- it's a long story your better off not knowing." He yelled back taking a sharp turn causing me to thump against the window  
"I lead him straight to you- fuck I can never say how sorry I am." his voice dropped in volume making him sound more like a scared child than a fearsome man. I physically shook away my fear to try and comfort him, I gently grabbed his arm "W-Wait it's okay. Nothing's happened yet. I'm okay….. I am okay right?" he tore his eyes away from the road to glance at me for a split second and the fear in them was enough to make my grip on his arm tighten, he shook his head no, before prying a hand away from the wheel and tightly grabbing my own. It calmed me down enough to notice we'd stopped at a park a few blocks from my house. "Wha-"  
"He's a sick fuck who prides himself on the hunt- it takes him around three weeks usually, he hasn’t gone to your house yet right?" I shook my head 'no' still holding his hand for dear life, he nodded thinking of something I couldn’t understand, Allthewhile his thumb rubbed circles into the flesh of my hand.

"Listen to me okay- I'm gonna drop you off at your house, get some shit from mines, and then were gonna go someplace safe okay?" I nodded trying not to let the crippling fear I felt show. His free hand found its way to the back of my neck "I swear to you- on everything I have, I will not let him hurt you okay?"   
"Okay." I said somehow short of breath. He stared at me intensely "I won't let anyone touch you, ever." I nodded pulling him into a hug. 

I ran inside immediately after the car stopped , I shuffled about grabbing two duffle bags and began to shove anything and everything I needed into them. Just as I paused to catch my breath my phone began to ring, I stared at Jin's name for longer than Intended then ignored the call and continued to pack, a thousand thoughts flew around in my head and I scrambled trying my best not to cry under the stress of it all. Namjoon warned me before I jumped out of the car that I may have to hide away for a while, until Jin could be 'dealt with'- I shuddered at all the things that could have meant for the boy I was beginning to care about. He called me again and I contemplated answering, but knew it was for the best not to. I had so many questions I knew Namjoon wouldn’t answer, 'for your own good' he'd say. The third time I ignored his call I heard a terrible bang come from the living room, it sounded like a mix of thunder and wood splitting. I covered my mouth and calmed my breathing before calling namjoon's number, it rang three times but the stomps climbing my stairs were too much to ignore, the door was slammed open. I scrunched myself against the wall holding back the wave of tears that wanted to escape my eyes. Jin stood there pure worry on his face, he made his way over to me in wide steps, ignoring the flinch my body involuntarily did as he wrapped me in his arms. "You had me freakin' out- I thought something had happened to you." I searched my mind for the right thing to say but came up blank, he pulled away looking at the mess of my room, then at my bags, then to me. "W-Where you- uh planning on going somewhere?" I shook my head no, still searching for my voice. "I don't like to be lied too- especially by my favorite person. So I'll ask again, Where the fuck did you think you were going?" He scoffed still smiling. That smile seemed a whole lot less friendly now. "Were you gonna leave town with that rodent of a man huh?" he shook his head slightly pacing the room "I knew if I let you be alone with him he'd pull something like this." he sighed with a small smile, but it far from comforted me. "See, I was hoping to wait till I had to do this but now-" he grabbed both my arms in a firm grip "Since you wanna run away-I'm just gonna have to take you home with me hm?" I shook my head furiously praying Namjoon would hurry. "Listen to me- Seokjin, please I-I was just gonna go visit my parents ." I lied flawlessly, trying my best to stall until Namjoon could get here. He shook his head scooting away for a bit "That’s-" he hissed "-another lie." I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion making him smile "Oh yeah- tapped your phone silly." he bopped my nose with a sigh. "Were gonna have to work on that lying problem baby." He nudged his head into my neck and inhaled deeply making my stomach churn, he pulled away with a scowl "You smell like him." I inhaled shakily ignoring his creepy comment "Jin- get off me lets just talk this out?" my plea fell on deaf ears as he tried to nuzzle closer to me. "You know- this was just for fun at first, just a little leverage I could have against that rat Kim." My eyes found my discarded phone a few feet away from my foot on the floor, if only I could just reach it..  
"That is of course until I got to know you- ah I know I'm cheesy, but you really did sweep me off my feet." I asked him if he would let me sit down so we could talk "We can just- talk okay? I won't leave I promise." just as he released the hold he had on my body, Namjoon called my phone, he immediately tensed, leaning down so we were eye to eye he seethed  
"Liar."

I fought against his hold as his hands grabbed the sides of my face in what I can only assume was supposed to me a loving embrace. "This is for your own good- now hold still this is gonna hurt when you wake up." I felt him yank my head forward then smash it back against the wall, a dark, cold, fog surrounded my vision after the initial pain, leaving me to a dreamless sleep.


	3. Lifes a game and your losing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting wild and babes are stressed.

Namjoon POV

        Three painstakingly long weeks had passed since she was taken. I had every man not looking for Jin looking for her, though the skeptical side of me couldn’t help but imagine the worst. The more days passed, the more I knew the chances of her being dead were high. In a way it gave me some kind of fucked up comfort to know she wouldn’t have to deal with whatever sick things he was doing to her. I caught sight of my reflection in the glass I was currently sipping at and grimaced- I looked like shit for sure, the circles under my eyes were prominent. I looked old. The thought made me dryly chuckle. This had to have been my- what? Third glass of fireball today? Sure it burned like the devils dick but I needed to distract myself. I needed to feel something other than the awful coldness that had settled into my core. Since alcohol clearly wasn’t doing the job I tried to close my eyes, to sleep away the pain, just my luck that like every other night, my imagination got the best of me and began to play out the most heart wrenching scenes it could concoct. I imagined all the horrible ways he could have killed her- god the ways he could have touched her, I saw her beautiful eyes glazed over with death, I saw her bleeding out, alone, cold, begging anyone out there to help her, I could see her anger, her fear, her regret of ever getting involved with me. I lifted my head up and tried to shake away the thoughts, despite downing the rest of my drink, inside I felt much colder than before. My eyes trailed to the dresser drawer where I kept my gun. Sometimes- when the guilt got to be too much, I considered biting a bullet, after all if I was dead I couldn’t feel the ice in my chest. However every time, I stopped myself. Not only would (y/n) be disappointed in me, Jin was out there, somewhere with a grin on his face knowing he hurt me like no one else has.

               After all he did rip away the only good thing in my life. Only seemed fair to kill him.

        Although I couldn’t decide if I would do it on impulse, fast and bloody, or slowly, so I could savor every scream I tore from his throat.  
        "Hey boss- I knocked but you uh- didn’t answer." Jungkook said pulling me away from my morbid thoughts. "What is it?" I respond slumping back into the worn leather of my chair. "We searched the dock- no luck." I said nothing- too busy occupied with the dread bubbling over in my gut. "Only place left in town here is his turf." I nodded again and waved they boy away.

        Too worn down to yell, I rolled my eyes when he ignored my dismissal "Is there anything else you have to add Mr. Jeon?" he rubbed at his wrists for a moment before speaking "Shouldn’t we have gotten rid of him anyway? He has been creeping on your turf for weeks and yet, he still has the use of his two legs.." he laughed a bit at the end of his sentence. "Not to mention Jin probably took (y/n) over there since he knows you two have beef." I met his eyes now interested in the conversation. "Its just-" he paused to sit down "Logically thinking, if Jin really did come here looking for work its plausible he went to Tae first-" I couldn’t help but inwardly cringe at the mention of his name but kook, he took my silence as permission to continue. "- it would make sense if tae put him up to this as a way of- I don’t know getting back at you." I toyed with the buttons on my shirt as I let the reality of his words sink in. "You think tae had something to do with this?" he nodded "If I'm right, us not finding Jin anywhere on our turf would make a lot more sense." I subconsciously ran a finger over a scar on my palm that never seemed to fade- a scare much more significant than any of the others that littered my body-  I interrupted myself, not ready to revisit the memories. "If that- if she is with him, if he's responsible I'll kill him, and everyone he cares about." The younger boy smirked at my words "It'll be an all out war." I nodded and he shook his head in a dismissive manner "Then again it's just a theory as of now-we  should wait until something solid pop's up to do anything." I hummed in response too busy planning our next move to give a proper one. He gave me a small smile before rising from his seat and leaving only to pause midway through the door "We're gonna find her boss." I offered him the best smile I could muster and he laughed tapping the door with his finger like he'd just remembered something "And if we don't- we'll it'll be fun taking care of them all." and with that he left me alone- a terrible mix of hope and dread filled me as the new information settled into my mind. If Jin just handed her off to tae she'd still be alive, and if that’s true- then I'd have to face tae- that was a story drama that deserved it's own movie. I found myself playing with the jagged skin of my scar once again, it felt fitting since said boy gave it to me.

 

(Y/n)'s POV

 

        The day I woke up, I was conscious before my body could move. I tried to calm my breathing as best I could and recall everything that had happened, but for a long time it was all a blur. That I until I heard Jin softly humming next to me, the scariest part was not being able to see him, or how long he'd been there for that matter. My blood ran cold when I felt his hand gently ghost over my face. I sat there, trapped in my body for hours until I finally managed to wiggle a few fingers, then my arm, until finally I could open my eyes and sit up. I thanked god a thousand times to see that he wasn’t in the room. Even though the action was small it left my vision spinning and my chest heaving.

        ' okay so making a run for it definitely wasn’t an option.' I thought placing a hand on the soft bandages covering my head. There was no noise besides my erratic heartbeat which sent a chill through my body. Somehow not knowing where he was unsettled me more than the idea of him being in the room. Seeing as I was immobile, I decided to plan my escape, I realized I'd need to get a layout of the house, when and if he leaves, and if he's going to be hostile- that was number one on my list. If he had the intention to kill me he would have already right? No of course not he'd probably waiting for me to wake up so he can make me eat fire ants.

 

        Right.

 

         Now number one priority was what I could use as a weapon. After a few hours of wiggling my limbs and thinking of different ways to get out of this alive, I finally heard a noise. It was so quiet that even through the walls I could hear a car pulling up. I shuffled back into a 'sleeping position a quickly as I could and waited. My pulse was so loud I was scared he could hear it. He began to whistle as he bustled away in some foreign part of the house I was in, come to think of it I didn’t even know I was in a house, I could be in a barn. Or one of those beat up warehouses on the side of the road no one pays attention to-then again this room looked too nice to be in some rusty building. It was actually uncomfortably nice soft oranges covered the walls and the bed I'd made my home was softer than the one I had at home. The thought that someone like Jin- a serial killer without a conscious- having a mundane home unsettled me. Soft footsteps could be heard padding toward the room very quietly, so quiet it wouldn’t have been heard if any other background noise had been present -ah so he had carpet, good to know.- I relaxed my body as best I could and began giving myself a pep talk for what I was about to do.

        The door creaked open with a small hiss alerting me to his presence- it was so hard not to scream when the bed dipped and his body lightly pressed against my side. I could feel his gaze through closed eyes, I prayed all those times I acted as if I was asleep as a child to get carried to bed paid off. I could feel his hand hovering over  my face for a few more unsettling moments- for a while I believed he'd choke me to death before I could even put my plan into action-  thankfully he grazed my jawline and traced a finger around my lips. I snapped my eyes open startling him. He regained composure for a moment before smiling "Hey sweetheart, how's your head?" I tried to sit up and winced harder than necessary "It- It hurts a lot." he pouted before cooing at me "I'm so sorry baby- you want some water? Aspirin maybe?" I softly shook my head no trying to look as bashful as possible "Don’t be sorry Jin- it's not your fault." he pulled away suspicion flashed in his eyes before he cocked his head to the side "Do you remember what happened baby? How you hurt your head?" I chewed my cheek in concentration before putting on a mask of confusion "No- I don't actually- why can't I remember?" I used the genuine fear I felt to push the performance I was giving. He sat back for a moment with a disgusting little smile I would have found endearing 24 hours ago "We'll, we were going on a date when you stumbled down your stairs and hit your head, I took you to the hospital when you wouldn’t wake up- they said you'd be fine, just needed some serious rest and someone to look after you- I hope you don't mind I took you home." he lied so smoothly, so effortlessly I almost scoffed. Instead I smiled and hid my face "God that's embarrassing- thank you so much- for everything really." he returned the smile- unlike mines his was real- and sighed "No need to thank me- you didn’t do much but sleep." I felt my insides churn- of course he watched me sleep.- Real charming.

        "So when did the doctors say I could go home?.." he stiffened before pondering "Well they said you'd be good to go once you could walk without getting a headache- no real set date." I was beginning to lose faith in my plan, he really had an answer for everything didn’t he? "Why, did you want to leave?" the suspicion from earlier slipped back into his eyes so I cleared my throat and grabbed his hand "Of course not- Its just- I don’t want to be a bother is all." he sighed with a smile and leaned in to press a soft kiss to my forehead "Your too cute- all you have to worry about is getting better okay?" I smiled through the urge to rip that grin from his lips and laid back down. "If you say so."

        "I do." he said giggling like the good person he pretended to be.

        "Oh! You must be starving- here let me go make something for you real quick." I nodded with a smile then watched him walk away, as he softly shut the door I let my mask crumble. Angry tears welled up in my eyes threatening to fall at any moment, I'd never been so scared in my life, all I wanted to do was snuggle into the warm over-sized arms of my best friend an fall asleep- I just wanted him.

         I scoffed at my thought. 'yeah great time to realize that (y/n)- your gonna die before you get to tell him.'

        I shivered from the thought. The threat of death was scary enough but to die without seeing his face again- without letting him know- it sent a surge of unfiltered fear through my body.  I swallowed the cry that wanted to escape and calmed my breathing.

         I could hear Namjoon now scolding me for trying to quit before the hard stuff began-  
         'Be strong (y/n) don't let him win.'

         'Wait for me.'

        'I love you too.'

        Okay the last one might have been for my own benefit but it calmed me down nonetheless. No matter how long it took, I'd play the waiting game. Id get back to him. I won't stop- because he wouldn’t stop if the roles were switched.

 

        Which is what lead me to right now- It been three weeks and with each passing day acting as if this was a completely normal situation got easier.

        Well kind of easy.

         Like right now for example, I was huddled into a warm blanket waiting for him to come back with the popcorn, I expected him to try something on me- I don’t know maybe try to take my face off in the middle of the night kinda thing? But no, he'd been acting normal, happy even, it unnerved me more than the idea of him being angry. Either way it was going a lot smoother as time crept on- in  my opinion I was a great actor, whenever he'd slip his hand over mine I wouldn’t flinch away like my instincts screamed at me to do, I'd squeeze back. When he told me he called my university to let them know I still wasn't feeling well, I didn’t poke holes in the flawed idea, I smiled and thanked him. He insisted I didn’t leave "I just don’t want you to get too overwhelmed out there- as soon as your ready I'll take you somewhere real nice okay?" then I kissed his cheek and thanked him for having my best interests.  
         Yeah right.  
        I'd noticed for a hitman he seemed rather mundane, every few day's he'd go off to work, making sure to remind me I'd be in danger if I left, and that he'd make dinner tonight. See, if I hadn't known better the reminder would be endearing, in reality it was a warning. Whenever he said cryptic shit like that it sent me into an overdrive of panicked thinking 'He knows something. Just confess now and maybe he won't slit your throat..' but then he'd give me that smile where his nose scrunches up and- well the mood swings were beginning to give me whiplash.

         What worried me most wasn't actually him, it's what I began to think of him. Thoughts of disgust and fear turned into pity. Of course he hasn’t told me any form of what he actually does but the more time passed the more I could see through the cracks in his mask, he wanted this little life, he wanted normal, but for whatever reason, he pushed the desire away, to kill.

         According to Namjoon, he liked it.

        Jin placed the warm dish of popcorn in my lap with a small satisfied sigh snapping me from my thoughts.

        "Don’t worry-" he said pulling out a bag of brown sugar from his back "-I didn’t forget the best part." I smiled at him in disbelief "I told you about that when we first met- how did you remember?" he shrugged sheepishly "I listen to everything you say- especially when it's your peculiar eating habits." I smacked the closest arm to me "Don't disrespect it before you try it I swear- it changed my life." he laughed and looked at me for a moment before glancing skeptically at the bowl. I held his gaze long enough for him to throw his arms up in a lazy surrender "Okay, alright, you broke me, Gimmie some." I handed over the bowl excitedly gauging for his reaction, after a handful and some unnecessarily thoughtful chewing he rested his head on his hand facing me "Is that or is that not the best thing you've ever tasted?" I ask making him smile into his hand with a nod- moments like these I caught myself wondering who Kim Seokjin really was, what he really felt, what happened to him to make him crazy? Was he always crazy? Why hasn’t he killed me yet? - wait no, no (y/n) you don’t care. You do not care what this psycho's deal is. I reminded myself easing back into my original position- wait when did I move towards him? I pressed myself against the arm of the couch nonchalantly, forcing my eyes to glue themselves to the ancient Christmas movie on screen instead of staring at him as I was before. Why was I staring at him? 'Get it together (y/n) don't let pity blind you. Don't give into curiosity.' and for a while we remained silently watching the movie. While he was fully immersed I let my mind wander to the boy I left behind, well, I didn’t really leave, I was kidnapped after all, and he wasn’t really a boy- obviously but in my mind I guess he's always been that tall kid who helped scrape me off the ground in the hallways while everyone else tried and failed to hide their snickering. The last time we were together felt almost like a scene from a movie, an action flick where he bursts in right before the antagonist could do any real damage, or maybe this was a horror movie where in the end none of it was worth it and his girl dies before they can get their long awaited kiss.

        Only problem was figuring out how this story was gonna end, because the antagonist wasn't holding me in a abandoned building with a gun to my head, he had his arms around me, how long had his arms been there? Why hadn't I noticed and why hadn't I moved yet? Oh right because I'm supposed to be into him. I'm supposed to pretend like im not snuggled into someone whos ended a countless number of lives as Rudolph dances across the screen in the background.

        Sometimes it was too much, I could feel the bolts in my head unscrewing from stress. I had to remind myself it was like a game, the joke is he has no idea I'm playing, Namjoon would be proud of me for playing someone as smart as Jin, I took a deep breath and reminded myself of my promise, that I'd get back to him. It brought me back down to reality where the weight of Seokjin's arm over my shoulder felt as if was crushing me, the fact that I'd been laying on his chest for sometime now worried me, it worried me more that not once had he commented on my strange behavior. I say this because every time I slipped up - psyched myself out where my facade began to look faulty, he called me out on it- "Baby girl you okay? Your head isn't bothering you again?" he'd ask with a glint in his eyes that made me think he knew I was lying. I always brushed him off, blaming it on stress about all the make up work I'd have to do at school or something else to which he'd always respond "You don't have to worry about school anymore- I'm gonna take care of everything." which of course always made things worse. His lack of questioning puzzled me, scared I might have gave myself away somehow I grabbed the hand not resting on my shoulder and intertwined our hands causing him to glance down at me. Without a word he kissed my temple, I felt the smile, it caused a shiver to run down my spine and into all of my fingers. He had a smile on his face which buried the anxiety I had about the entire ordeal. Instead of pulling away, he dragged his lips down to my ear making the shivers intensify with his every breath I sat there froze and somehow overheating at the same time waiting for something, anything to happen.

        "I know your secret." I couldn’t stop the nervous exhale that escaped my throat, I opened my mouth to defend myself but the hand I was holding scrapped its way up my body until his thumb pressed gently against the flesh of my mouth "Let me talk princess." I swallowed dryly and sat as still as possible, afraid any sudden movement would set him off, after all last time I heard that tone of voice he smashed my head against a wall. "I almost bought it you know? But it felt too good to be true, too perfect of a situation, once I realized 'I didn’t hit her as hard enough to cause any kind of amnesia, and even if I did, how odd is it that she forgets all the good stuff." he purred nipping every so slightly right below my ear. "So, I figured I'd enjoy your little act until you made a break for it," his hand delicately traced its way loosely wrapped around my throat "Then get rid of you for hurting my feelings," he pouted almost childishly  "-but you haven't given up yet- I must say you had me baffled for a while there- don't get me wrong princess I respect the effort you put into playing dumb but it's not your style, your too smart for that hm?.." he trailed off turning my jaw so I would face him. "Anyhow-" he sighed "Since you managed to fool me which, I'll be honest I didn’t know you were capable of, I've decided to keep you."

        "Keep me huh? Didn’t know I was a pet." I found my voice finally.

        Unfortunately it came out unsure and soft- a complete opposite from what I felt inside.

        "You have to be broken in of course- but yes, essentially, until you can learn lying won't be tolerated in this relationship you'll be treated like a liar, like a dog who hasn't been house broken yet." I hadn't realized I'd smacked him until he was cradling his face, I was standing now, so mad I hadn't fully realized the severity of the situation. "I don't know who you think you are but I have never been a dog and I won't be disrespected by a piece of shit like you." three weeks of pent up frustrations came out like a broken dam of anger. Any unsure feelings about him seemed to evaporate into thin air. The tiny victory I felt from slapping the dirt bag crumbled once he stood up, his head hung low casting shadows on his face, they distorted his features to look like the demon he was on the inside. Taking a step forward, I could hear my heart slamming against my ribs trying to compensate for the spike in adrenaline and fear. I took a step back with everyone he made forward. We continued our twisted tango until I was against the kitchen counter. This was it. This is where I die. I found myself apologizing to my mother, to my friends, to Namjoon, especially to Namjoon. Jin slightly lifted his hand and I pushed myself against the hard edge of the counter until it hurt, I had a plan though, if I could just get to the side of the counter, a knife holder gleamed in the corner of my eye, for a moment I found myself wondering 'if you had to, could you end a life to save your own'  He grinned now standing between my thighs.

        "Look at you." he sucked his teeth with devious hint of a smile "I haven't even touched you yet and your already falling apart." he brushed a stray hair behind my ear causing my body to flinch away.

         "Maybe breaking you will be easier than I expected?"

'Yeah I could definitely stab him.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait i hope you enjoy, requests are always open   
> -muah


	4. Caught In The Crossfire Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more like caught in the feels lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays bbys

We sat across from each other, the only noise that could be heard was the repetitive clicking of the clock on the wall. Dinner had long been over but neither of us made a move to get up. unsaid words and unasked questions hung thick in the air, at first glance his face appeared expressionless, but a closer look would tell it all.  
        His fingers drummed steadily on the table top, a habit he did whilst losing patience, he may have thought he had me all figured out but it was the opposite, I could tell he wanted a reason to punish me, a reason to break my will. I refused to give it to him, instead I remained calm, void of any reaction he was looking for. He itched to say something but wouldn’t. Not until I broke the silence - brought up the elephant in the room- see if I did that then he would have won the game, everything in life seemed to be some kind of stupid game- the thought irked me more than I'd like to admit, and he seemed to notice my resolve weakening, curiosity turned into a sick sense of need, a need to know how he ticked, how he thought, because if I did, I would know how to get out of here.

        Sure my last plan failed miserably but I couldn’t give in. It's exactly what he wanted. Submission.

         He rested his hands on the table and sighed. A part of him enjoyed this, anyone could tell by the way he dropped his gaze to my lips, then back to my eyes, all holding the same, chill inducing grin.

        I cleared my throat gaining his attention "Jin I have an idea." he perked up, if he were a dog his tail would be wagging, "And what might that be." he responded to calm for my comfort. I held his gaze, despite how dry it made my mouth go. "Look, I know you don’t trust me, and I know I don’t trust you but since you don’t intend on letting me go, let's try to make this situation as easy as possible." he tilted his head, still resting on his hands, but said nothing. I took his silence as an invitation to continue "I'll ask you a question, then you ask me one. We have to be honest." he leaned back in his chair with a sigh "Alright, only because you’ve been good." I ignored his comment and the angry heat that spread through my body. "What do you really do when you go to 'work'?" he smiled leaning closer on the table "Whatever I want." he answered darkly, the empty implications he left lingering with his vague response caused the hair on my body to stand on end. "What is that supposed to mean?" I just needed to hear him say it, to hear the truth. Maybe if he did I'd hate him more and feel less… whatever this is I feel about him.  
He shook his finger in a disapproving way "It's my turn to ask a question sweetie."   
I leaned back bracing myself for the worst, most invasive question.

        "What's your favorite thing about Christmas?"  
I couldn’t help the way my jaw fell open, that was, unexpected to say the least.

      "Well, um it-it's the lights I guess." he hummed, with a small smile "That’s cute." I collected myself before returning his gaze "Do you kill people Jin." I expecting some kind of reaction, a surge of irritation at least but, no, of course he just smiled.. Damn him and that smile.. "Did you ask Namjoon the same thing when he told you of his wonderful occupation?" I tried not to let the hurt of hearing his name show, letting my mask fall I stared at him confused before shaking my finger at him "Not your turn sweetie." to which he smirked at "I do what I do because im good at it. Some people are born on this earth to be accountants, some to be doctors, me? I like to think I'm here to make the world a better place." I openly scoffed "Taking the lives of others isn't making the world better Jin." he cracked his neck with a roll of his eyes, the facade of calm he had was breaking.

         "Why do you think im different from Namjoon." I froze, unknowingly he'd asked a question that been eating at my subconscious for weeks now. Why was he worse? hard as i searched my mind I couldn't find an answer. It made me, frustrated.  
        Very frustrated.

        "I-Its different." I said looking at anything but the man in front of me. "How." he asked standing up abruptly. "He's my best friend." I said still unsure of the real answer "Oh bullshit." Jin called storming away from the table into the kitchen. I ignored my fear, and stubbornly pushed myself away to follow him. "Its not bullshit- he's been there for me when I needed him, I couldn’t just walk away-"

        "But you'd walk away from me, even though I was the one who's actually been there for you." his voice lost its edge, but I still didn’t approach him. "Yeah well he didn’t smash my skull against a wall so." He turned around to scoff in disbelief "How many times do I have to apologize for that? You were gonna leave me I couldn’t let that happen." I could see him gripping the counter tightly. I eyed him before my anger got the best of me.

        "Why not? You said I was just a pawn to hold over Namjoon- let me the fuck go." My voice raised an octave. I was losing my cool. He suddenly turned to face me "I told you that was just in the beginning, everything else was real."

        "Why should I trust you?" he rubbed his face in frustration "I'm trying- im really, really trying here, I made a few mistakes-" he took a step forward to gently grab my arms "- but so have you." he tried to grab my hand but I yanked myself away to press against the wall instead.  
The battle of what to feel was beginning to give me a headache. "Jin, I want to understand you- to wrap my head around how I feel about you but I need you to stop treating me like a prisoner." he was biting a his nails, a nervous habit he'd began to do a few weeks ago. He shook his head no making me huff in distaste "I can't let you go-"

        "You know I won't tell on you, hell I don’t even know where we are-"

        "No."

I stared in disbelief "You.. you make me feel things, shit I'd never felt before. Things I didn’t think were possible for someone like me, I know that doesn’t really excuse what I've done to you but you have to understand."

        "I can't understand if I don’t know the whole story." I pleaded.

 He exhaled deeply, the usual spark of mischief was nowhere to be found in his eyes. "I learned from a very young age this world is fucked." he slumped against the counter looking off into a memory im sure was painful.

         "I wasn’t- I never intended on this…path." he chose his words carefully, as to not escalate the situation any more.

        "My mother split when I was- hell I don’t know five? Maybe six? Anyway she left me with my dad. He tried his best but he was nothing without her, I grew up thinking 'What kind of person can rely so heavily on someone else and still call themselves a man?' I swore to myself I'd never get that weak- never care about someone so much that them leaving my life would crush me." his eyes met mine with a cross between a chuckle and a scoff "I failed at that, as you can see." it was my turn to look away.

 

Don’t smile. Don’t smile. Don’t- Damn it stop smiling

 

        "My dad couldn’t really handle anything, let alone pay our bills- so he took a loan he shouldn’t have from a man he really shouldn’t have been talking too- long story short when time came to pay, dad didn't have the cash. The guy he borrowed from was Kim Taemin- he used to own this whole city you know? Biggest gangster of his time- he found me trying to run out the back, dragged me into the living room and forced me to watch as they…" he swallowed thickly letting out a shuttering breath "..yeah, I won't get into specifics."  He paused his words for a moment, caught up in his thoughts, I found myself grabbing his hand, the action seemed to pull him from whatever he was stuck in, he coughed out a sorry before continuing.

        "He uh- made me scrub the floor to get all the blood out out. Once I finished he grabbed me by the shoulder with a smile and said 'You listen well boy, I could use a young man like you in my business.' I didn't even get a chance to answer, before I know it we're at his too big house and he's introducing me to his too nice son." I had the sudden urge to vomit at the mental visuals, cry because that was a horrible way to grow up and hug him because he looked like a child, I chose to wrap my hands around his neck and hold him like my mother would have held me. He inhaled a shaky breath before wrapping his hands around my waist and continuing "That man raised me. I would have considered him a father had he not, you know, murdered my actual one." his hands rubbed circles into my back making me lean further into him. "When you grow up surrounded by death, I don’t know, it's not such a big deal I guess. At first I couldn’t do it, but when I did - after a while pulling the trigger became easier and easier. I never saw them as people I just saw work.." he huffed out a small laugh pulling away to look at me "That sound horrible i'm sorry." I said nothing afraid if I spoke he'd stop

         "I told myself once I got out, once I broke away from that life, it be easy to slip back into mundane things, like when I was younger but it's impossible- I guess that’s one of the reasons im so attached to you. You remind me of who I used to be." he brought my hands up to hold his face "Kind hearted , genuine good, the pure things in the world you know? That's what I see when I look at you."   
I pulled away from him and walked to the window overlooking the garden, huh it was snowing. I tried my best to calm my erratic breathing with the scenery. This was all too much. Too many emotions clamored in my mind. I had to hold onto the counter to ground myself.  
I tried to think. To figure out what my next move but my head was a mess, my conscious was arguing with my heart on how to feel him, and I thought I had things figured out.  
        "Well, that was depressing." he joked interrupting me wiping at his eyes. He exhaled deeply before checking the time on his watch "Look, i want too try something- you can say no if you want but since we've pretty much bared everything out there, can I take you on a date?"  
        "You w-wanna go on a date after - all that?"   
He shrugged "Why not? I'd rather do that than be emo in here for the rest of the night." I pushed down all the questions I had ready to feel anything but how i felt at the moment.  
        "Why not?"  
        I found myself gawking at the sight that laid before me, not only did a thin sheet of snow cover the floor, every building in sight was decorated to the T. People walked hand in hand admiring the wonder downtown had become. There was a large crowd of people surrounding a giant tree waiting for it to join the rest of the area in beautiful light. Sure it felt like -10 degrees out here and through two sets of gloves i was beginning to lose feeling in my fingers but it was worth it. My eyes were trailing a dog in a Christmas sweater when they landed on a cute little cart selling hot coco, I turned to get  jin's attention only to find him pointing his phone at me "I'm sorry" he laughed "You looked too cute." I shook my head and tried to snatch the phone from his hands but he held it over my head, his free arm snaked its way around my waist pulling me flush against his body, "That was smooth." I said, my voice slightly muffled from being pressed into his chest. He pulled away with a red face "Fuck it's really cold out here." his eyes landed on the cart a few feet away from us. He looked down to me before asking  
        "Coco?"  
        "Coco."   
As we grabbed the steaming cup of heaven he reached in his back pocket to pay and made a face "Aw- I left my wallet in the car, I'll be right back!" he handed me his cup and sped walked through the maze of people trying his best to get around a horde of Christmas carolers. I shook my head with a smile, he was kind of a dork. As I sat by the cart I found myself lost in the sea of fairy lights hanging above, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I noticed something strange, A man dressed in black stood a few feet away from me staring in confusion, he was a little hard to see but it was clear he was staring at me, I smiled politely and waved, he began speed walking toward me. I brushed it off, maybe he was staring at the tree? Yeah that's it. I caved into my curiosity and glanced up only to see him a lot closer- oh and now he's shoving people out of the way  
Yeah that's not weird at all.  
Without really thinking I asked the friendly man working the cart to hold the coco for a moment before glancing over my shoulder, whoever that was- much to my dismay- was close enough for me to hear them yelling my name. yep time to go. I shuffled as quick as I could through the crowd looking for jin- wait why am I not running away right now.  
I didn't actually want to stay with jin did I?  
The sudden thought stumped me. As I lost myself in a minor existential crisis, it also occurred to me that this was probably one of jin's stupid tests. I scoffed, any positive feelings about the night went down the drain. Out of nowhere a hand wrapped around my arm and yanked me through the crowd, I almost tripped on my feet. "Dude what the hell-"  
        "I need you to run a little faster." he yelled over the noise "What the fuck is happening right now don't just tell me to run fast-" he interrupted me with a scoff before he turned around suddenly, I almost ran into him but in a motion that came out of a marvel movie he bent down and grabbed my legs flipping me onto his shoulder, then proceeded to continue running as if he didn't have a full grown human on his back. 'WHATTHEFUCK' was my first thought when my world turned upside down, the glow of the lights began to fade with every step he took. I stared at his back before using my hands to smack at any part of him i could "Fucking hell woman- ow- stop it before I drop you."   
        "Put me down you shithead!" I continued my attack on his body.  
        "Namjoon owes me so much for this." he muttered still running, my fists fell immediately "What did you just say?"  
He looked over his shoulder before slowing down and dropping me on my feet. "Yeah- he's been looking for you like crazy." he panted hard before looking around again and pulling out his phone "Oh my god." was all I managed to say watching as he dialed a number, he met my eyes once the phone began to ring and smiled "It's nice to finally meet you, my names Jungkook." I put a hand to my chest and sighed "Hi..Oh my god I think i'm gonna have a heart attack." he laughed breathlessly "Don't die on me yet we gotta get you home f-"  
His words died in his throat as he stared off behind me. "Jin." Jungkook said casually  "Lovely to see you here." I spun around to see said man only he was pointing a gun directly at me, like it was rehearsed Jungkook slipped his phone into my back pocket, then pushed me behind him  
        "Come here baby." Jin spoke to me but his eyes stayed glued on Jungkook,  "Do you really wanna cause a scene? Right here?" Jungkook sounded nervous, I took a few hesitant steps away from them both, but if I ran who's to say jin wouldn't shoot me next?  
Jin nudged his head toward the lively celebration a few blocks away from us "Go on Princess, this won't take long." I swallowed my fear and took a step towards him "Put the gun down." ignoring me, he cocked the weapon "Your not gonna wanna see this, go wait in the car." I felt the burn of tears running down my cold skin but took another step. "J-Jin- you don't have to hurt him, i'll go home, with you okay? we can forget about this." to which he scoffed at "Oh I know your coming home with me, this little rat though," he sucked his teeth "I'll have to deal with."  
I was a good foot in front of him at this point, beyond terrified of what would happen if i made the wrong move.   
        "Please, take me home jin." my voice cracked from raw fear, his eyes flickered to me then back to the silent boy before us. "He tried to take you away from me."  
        "But he didn't, i'm right here now lets just go- please." I placed a trembling hand on his shoulder, jin's eyes finally looked away from jungkook long enough to pull me into his chest. He kissed the top on my head and lowered his arm, I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until I exhaled. His free hand pressed itself against my head over my ear , before I had the chance to react jin's hand was in the air again and a muffled bang rand through the night. I ripped away from him fast enough to see the man i'd barley spoken to  fall to the ground with a sickening thump. I expected something, a cry of horror from the crowd maybe, but we were too far away from them to hear. Jin was speaking to me but all I heard was white noise. A stain of red circled the mans body, appearing bright and hellish against the white of the ground.  
 All at once reality smacked me in the face.   
Someone was dead, because they'd tried to help me.  
Everything after that was a blur, we may have left the body where it laid but the image burned in my mind, his eyes were sealed shut in pain, his face splattered with his own blood. At some point jin had gotten me out of my heavy coat and onto the couch. Wrapping a thick quilt around my shoulders. After a few hours of my life flashing forward in front of me I finally got a grip on myself. I walked into the back part of his house where he'd been running around for the past few hours, I now saw he'd been packing.  
        "Oh good your up, were leaving in a few hours so you should get your rest." he casually said zipping up a suit case. "Where are we going?" I asked dully leaning against the door frame. "Well, we can't stay here so I was thinking, maybe New York? or San Francisco? You always say you love big cities." he sounded so- unaffected, it flared my anger up like a match being struck on a box. "If You think i'm going anywhere with you after tonight your on something."  He rolled his eyes and tossed the suitcase off the bed " Come over here." he patted the bed with his million dollar smile in place.  
 I made my way over and sat as far away from him as possible.  
         "I know your upset- and i'm sorry you are but I told you, I can't let you go back to that monster." I laughed bitterly. "Your one to talk." his smile fell.  
        "Why can't you see i'm protecting you from him."  
        "Hm lets see shall we, you stalked me, tapped my phone, kidnapped me and murdered an innocent man in cold blood for trying to help me get away from you." His head fell into his hands "You know what the saddest thing is though? for the life of me no matter what you do I can't hate you the way you deserved to be hated." I stood up too angry to calm down "You deserve no pity yet here I am feeling sorry for your psycho ass - god you piss me off. I mean who gave you the right to decide what happens in my life huh?" He looked up to me calmly before a small smile broke out unto his face "You care about me."  
        "Unbelievable." I scoffed making a b-line for the kitchen. I turned on the faucet and cupped my hands underneath to splash my face for the second time that night. He trailed in after me moments later still grinning.   
        "I had to take you away from him, I need you safe and your safer with me than Namjoon." I grabbed a napkin from thhe counter and wiped at my hands and face, "How is being with you safer than being with him?" I ask unconvinced "Well for one I don’t have half of the city gunning for me." I raised a brow more confused than ever

        "Did he not tell you the full story? God who am I kidding of course he wouldn’t." He sighed before pulling out a chair and plopping down  "The guy I used to work for- Taemin, Namjoon worked for him too, that is before he killed him."  
        "I'm sorry what?"  
        "Yeah it was this huge thing- came outta nowhere for everyone because Namjoon and the son were so close- I think his name was Taehyung?" I stood silently letting the information soak into my mind "He tried to kill me too, but before he could Taehyung stopped him, I used their brawl as a cover and disappeared."   
        "But you don't wanna hear that do you." his chair squeaked against the floor as he stood up suddenly in front of me.   
"The truth is-" he whispered dangerously close to my mouth "He's just as much of a monster as I am."


	5. Caught In The Crossfire

   Yoongi POV  

   When I found Jungkook's body lying in the snow I mirrored his lifeless form, frozen where I stood-Yes death was no rare feat in this job, one of the only rules of getting into this life is never to get too close, because they could be snatched away in a moment, but it stung like no other. He was family, and he deserved better.  
         I traced my fingers over his cold skin closing his eyes before searching the body for any indication on what could have gotten him shot. His wallet, untouched remained in his coat pocket and his overpriced watch sat against his wrist which meant this wasn’t a robbery. Alarm bells began to ring in my head as I continued to search his body, the thick, cold blood that covered his chest and the ground around him began to find it's way on my hands-great now I needed to shower- the more I searched the more red flags began to pop up in my head, if this was another gang they wouldn’t have left his body. At least not in the condition it was in, if this was a rival of namjoon's they would have mailed his head in a neatly wrapped box.  
         My suspicions continued to grow as I found no weapon on him which meant he wasn’t on the job, only thing misplaced was his phone, he never went anywhere without it, I can't recall how many times I'd teased him for always being buried in it. I pulled away just as puzzled as before but now I had some sort of idea, whoever shot him had his phone, and by god I was going to find the bastard who did this. I stepped away from the body, forcing my anger down, wiping my hands on the black fabric of my jeans I pulled out my phone, this was going to be a long night. My thumb hovered over Namjoon's contact name before a thought stuck me, whoever had his phone might respond if I text and if they do I can trace it. I sent a text to his phone as if I was intending to reach out to him, it took a lot of will power not to call whoever it is out. A twisted mixture of rage and sadness bubbled away inside as I waited for a response, I knew it was a long shot which is why I waited only a few minutes before giving up and calling Namjoon

        "Jungkook's dead, his body's downtown- come get it."

         "Alright."

        That was it.

        Now I wasn’t expecting a deep declaration of grief from the man but to hear the causality in his voice, the unmoved tone he kept it at, made me fume. He hung up almost as soon as the words left his mouth.

        I stared in disbelief for a moment, how could he be so uninvolved with this? Before I knew it a black car skirted to a stop next to me and the body now covered in a small layer of white. I found myself ready to go all the way off on the man when a face I didn’t know recognize crawled out the drivers seat, he said not a word as he picked the limp boy up and slung him over his shoulder. I stood there until my fingers went numb, trying to process the cocktail of angers in my mind. I was angry he had died in such a way, the kid was no saint but he was good at heart. I was angry Namjoon hadn't the balls to come get the body himself, but most of all I was angry at myself for grieving in such a way instead of finding his killer. It was all beginning to feel like too much. 

        I shuffled into my car and pulled out into the black sea of a night.

        Despite my best efforts to push it from my mind I couldn’t help but remember the last time I'd seen the kid, it was about a week ago, he'd gotten off of that crazy Kim's leash long enough to stop by my house and or office.  We usually gathered up every month or so to hang out and relax but he'd been cooped up with that asshole trying to find some lost cause who was probably at the bottom of Han river.

        If I'd known it be the last time I'd see him I wouldn’t have let him gone back to work. Almost as if a storm cloud was over my head my thoughts soured the longer I brewed over everything. My phone startled me with a sudden vibration, I answered it, not paying attention to the screen.

        "Help me." a hoarse whisper called out, I pulled away to look at the caller ID and just about dropped my phone.

        It was Jungkook's number.

        I wanted to scream, respond, trace the location and then scream again but I knew that wouldn’t get me anywhere, instead I cleared my throat "Um- what?"

        "I need help." the voice whispered so quietly I almost didn’t hear  "Please I don’t have time- my name is (Y/N) (L/N) and I've been kidnapped." 'holy shit-holy motherfucking shit' I thought staring at the phone silently for a moment not believing my eyes, or ears for that matter.

         "(Y/n)?" I asked unsure

        "Yes!- yes I'm hiding in the bathroom right now and he's bound to get suspicious."

        "Who took you do you know?" it was silent for a while, almost as if she was afraid to give his name- though I had a hunch I knew who it was.

         "I can't help you if you don’t help me okay?"

        "Kim Seokjin."

Bingo

        "Do you know where you are by any chance?" I asked tearing my laptop from the backseat. I heard a exhausted exhale before her voice muttered  "If I knew I'd have left sooner." I rolled my eyes at the surprisingly snarky answer, plugging my phone into the laptop to trace the call I remembered the situation.

         "I'll help you- I have your location traced- only if you tell me how you got this phone." it was a few moments before (y/n) responded "I don’t wanna ask how you traced this but um, this guy he-" her voice cracked like she was having trouble speaking "This guy tried to help me but before he could- he was um-."

        "Shot, I know."

        "You know?"

        "I found his body."

        "Who even- look he slipped me the phone before Jin could notice and your literally the only person I can get too so please, help me."

 I pondered my next move, see I could help her, get my revenge on Jin, do right by Jungkook, or I could let her rot and find him another day. That be salt in the wound for Namjoon.

I paused my movements long enough for her to ask if I was still there, I could hear shuffling on the line and a muffled voice somewhere in the distance "I'll be right out!" she yelled to who I can only assume was Jin. She spoke in a rushed whisper "I know I don't know you and your probably not going to come but if anything- could you give a message to my friend?"

I contemplated the situation for a moment before nodding. I realized she couldn’t see me and smacked my hand against my head for being stupid "What kind of message?"

        "That I'm sorry- and I love him, Kim Namjoon that is."

I felt what's left of my conscious gnawing at me to be the bigger person, with a sigh I did something I know I'll end up regretting.

        "No need for sappy love confessions I'm on the way."

        "What- no way call the police or something don’t come here this guy- he'll kill you."

        "I don’t do cops, I'll just come get you myself. Simple." I said slamming my laptop and tossing it in the back with a handful of other technology littered about.

         "You don't understand the man who has me won't hesitate to kill you just-"

         "Don’t worry." and with that the call ended.

 

Namjoon POV

        I hadn't left my office since Jungkook planted the seed in my head taehyung could be behind this, A tug of war had begun to take hold in my head, it didn’t sit right with me, the idea of him being so malicious to involve an innocent woman. Despite our, past, I couldn’t find it in me to believe it. Then on the other side I was clinging to any form of hope there was, any kind of ending to this where she was okay. Me and Jungkook had been working non stop, covering every inch of land, interrogating Taehyung's men, and even a little bit of unorthodox bribing, but we got nowhere. Last night I told the kid to take off and enjoy the holidays as best as he could, and to my knowledge he was, that was until Yoongi called me.

        I had a rule when it came to my men dying, I hire more but this, this was different, it was personal- at least it felt personal. I don't remember much of the phone call, I think I went numb. After I hung up a merciless wave of exhaustion hit me, forcing me to lean on my paper covered desk. My body was screaming at me to do something, to sleep, to eat actual food, I can't remember the last time I had something that wasn’t instant ramen.

        I figure im better off alive than dead so I headed home for the first time in what felt like years. I drifted in and out of reality as I drove to my house- i'm shocked I managed to make it home without causing at least one accident. See when the love of your life gets kidnapped by the actual worst human on the planet and its your fault- it really can fuck you up, add the fact that one of my best men, my second in command was now dead when I needed him most and you got a shit-show of a conscious mind, which explains why somehow on the track to my house I ended up in front of (Y/n)'s place.  
         I stared at her door confused on how the hell I'd gotten there for a moment before a loud yawn escaped my throat reminding me of my body's low battery. Walking past the new door I'd gotten put in there, I tossed my heavy coat on the couch. The house was unchararistically quiet, it unnerved me more than anything else. No matter how much time passed, I still wasn't used to her being gone. Sure she was a busy college student and I was always swamped with work (i.e. choke slamming information out of people) but one way or another we'd find our way back together, like a pair of oppositely charged magnets, she was the good, the person my mother wanted me to grow up to be. I was bad news, like a gateway to shitty situations.  I rubbed my eyes, not bothering to switch on the lights, I had her place etched into my memory, I'd forget the ABC's sooner than I'd forget anything about this house. My fingers traced over the aged walls as I mindlessly walked into her bedroom. I allowed the nostalgia overwhelm me and suddenly I was seven again, sitting in the corner of this very same room, only it was brighter, warmer, and I was hunched over (y/n)'s Nintendo.  
        Things were simple.  
         Easier.

        I spent a lot of my childhood in this house. My parents never cared too much about where I was or what I did, I guess that’s one of the forces that pushed me into Taemin's arms. It was a night almost as cold as this one, me and (Y/n) had gotten into a petty fight about me dropping out of school, I just barley let the words slip from my mouth before she was up and pacing.  
"Don't talk like that joonie your future depends on school no matter how shit it is." I rolled my eyes getting more irritated by the second "Look I don't need your permission to do a damn thing." I tried to walk out the door but she placed both of her hands on each side of the frame stopping me from leaving. "Get out of the way your being annoying."  
"Nuh uh no way am I letting you walk out here to do something stupid." Thankfully I hit my growth spurt before her so I just lifted her out of the way and walked downstairs, of course her stubborn ass followed me, "Namjoon don't- I can't shake the feeling your doing this for a stupid reason." I turned around causing her to slam into my chest "I don't need you to baby me like i'm some kind of responsibility okay? leave me alone."   
        When he first came to me  I was hesitant to join him, after all it was a life of crime he was proposing, I don't even know how he found me, but in the state i was in, too hot headed and too stubborn to care about the aftermath of it all, I walked down to the docks, where he always lurked around this time of night with a handful of his men playing poker or hassling someone, they always looked like they were on top of the world,  I realize now it was because they owned it.  
        I ran there out of breath and as fast as my thirteen year old legs could take me, stumbled before him. I opened my mouth to take up his offer but he seemed to read my mind, he motioned me over with a swipe of his hand, patting the seat next to him ( not before kicking his lackey out of it of course) he slapped his large hand on my back and shook my body back and forth in what i'm sure was supposed to be an affectionate way. "I knew you'd come around kid, you got that look in your eye, like you want more outta life." I nodded gaping like a goldfish, he walked around like a movie star after all. Wealth and power were what I craved, I needed more from life than a pencil pushing job- I knew school could never give me the things he could.

        "I can see myself in those eyes boy." I said nothing but smiled , he laughed and handed me a beer "After all you’re a man now right?" The lackeys shouted in responce and already I felt like I was meant to be there. I learned rather quickly why he scouted for me in the first place, for all his charms the man was obsessed with himself, his legacy to be more specific. He needed people to prtcet the empire he'd buillt, that and his son Taehyung. Taemin figured the most loyal soldiers were the ones who'd been with you the longest. I felt my bloodshot eyes narrow at the memories, he changed my life for sure but thinking of him made me feel like I was covered in filth, like someone had ashe'd a cigarette on my whole body then kicked me down a hill. Despite the protest my body put up, I walked the rest of the way and landed stomach first on her bed, it was soft and smelled like her which instantly relaxed me, if I closed my eyes it was almost like she was still there. Almost

        I settled into her bed like I'd done so many times in the past and though I was drained emotionally and physically my mind raced as if I didn’t feel like walking death.

I rocked between thinking about Taemin and (y/n)- I chose the ladder.

        My thoughts flashed with all the memories we'd made in this room, the stupid fights we'd forget in an hour, the late nights watching full house reruns and falling asleep on each other. I think, the moment I realized I cared about her way more than the average best friend is when we made up from the fight about school. It was the longest we'd gone without talking, a whopping two weeks, I'd been getting used too my new life and she'd been dealing with middle school without her best (and only real) friend. I showed up at her door with the intention of telling her we couldn't be friends- that I wasn’t going to be around. Then I saw her smile and I was gone, she went off telling me about how much fun she was having and how weirdly nice everyone was, the fact that not even two minutes of her talking could wipe out the nasty mood I was in- it kind of felt like getting punched in the chest but it was a warm punch, a punch I wanted to keep getting, if that made any sense. That night we perched in her backyard with an old blanket and talked like it was going out of style, it was mainly her talking about how much she missed me and how I couldn't leave her life as long as she lived "That pact from fourth grade is still valid, I'll kick your ass if you go anywhere okay?" I stared at her for a while, she had no idea but she was comforting me in the biggest way.         "Yeah I'll stick around, only because your mom makes the best food." she smacked my head lightly making me laugh.

        "Don't joke I'm serious joon."

        "What- do you want a pinky swear or somethin' ?"

        "Yeah maybe I do."

I scraped my body into a kneeling position and raised my pinky in the air, she smiled and copied my actions.

        "This is so childish-ow no need to get violent." she retracted her hand from pinching my arm and resumed her position "I hereby swear, to treasure you as the wonderful best friend that you are, and no matter how ..different we chose to live our lives." she nodded hooking her pinky with mine "And I hereby promise to keep all the gremlin prepubescent's from school away from you if you decide to come back.." I laughed at her declaration before trying to pull away but she only tightened her grip "But if you don't come back I'll just have to keep the real world gremlins at bay yeah?"

        I curled into myself breathing in her sent, praying for that moment to replace the reality I was in.


	6. Authors note/Update

Hey guys I wanted to pop in to let you know why updates have been so deathly slow, at the moment I'm sick as a dog and have been for a few weeks now but things are looking good so if all goes well I can get back to posting! I'm so terribly sorry you've been waiting so long for an update thank you all so much for reading it means a lot to me, also let me thank you for your patience - just a little longer okay guys? Also while we wait you are more than welcome to leave any and all requests in the comments :D


	7. Change of plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all gonna be fine

        I watched his chest rise and fall for a few minutes letting myself imagine if this were real, if this were normal, how I wouldn't mind walking up to see him every morning. After everything that’s happened I couldn’t believe my thoughts- how could I feel anything for this man, this monster? It was a question I was beginning to grow tired of asking myself.

        I slipped his arm off my waist and limped into the kitchen to make coffee, today was going to be a long one- last nights choices reminded me of that fact with every painful step, my leg had a bruise the size of Texas splattered across it in a disgustingly purple and red shade. I looked over my body in the shower earlier and grimaced at how scratched up I was- you're probably wondering what happened in the span of that awful conversation in the kitchen and now- well that’s simple, after that explosion of information Jin threw at me and the rush of everything else that had happened my body felt exhausted. I hauled myself into the living room to mull over it all. I felt upside down and inside out all at the same time, after all I had held Namjoon in such a bright light, on a pedestal no one and nothing could knock over.

         Even before all this gang nonsense he'd been ethereal to me, yeah I knew he was far from perfect but he was a good man, at least he was everything a good man should be in my mind. He was smart, could have gone on to do wonderful things but it wasn't just book smarts he had, he knew how to solve every problem that came his way and if he didn’t he wasn’t afraid to ask for help, he knew how to talk to people, how to let them know he was there for the without being too pushy he could make me laugh on my darkest days, and if a laugh wasn’t what I'd needed he'd sit there and just exist with me in the silence of my room and when I was ready to talk we'd talk like it was going out of style.

         After I found out, I'm not entirely sure what made me stay, maybe my subconscious knew I couldn't deal with life without him, maybe its because I was in love, either way, I was here now and determined to see him one last time- god my mindset was getting more and bleaker.

         I sat there for hours waiting for Jin to wrap up his nightly routine, every night he'd shower, read a little of the book on his bedside and then sleep. Usually, now I'm a bit- okay a lot ashamed to admit this but usually, by now, I'm in his bed. Now I know what your thinking, how the hell did that happen and I'll be honest I have no clue why but I have a theory that after taking my passed out body off the couch and into his bed anyway I eventually just accepted it as a place to sleep nothing more, I mean sure most days I wake up entangled in his arms and sure maybe I don’t throw them off me as soon as I gain consciousness- but its just because he's warm okay? He realized I wasn’t coming to bed and thankfully took it as me needing my space, I was turned to face the other side of the couch when he shuffled over and gently draped the warm wool fabric over my body, he tucked me in quietly before leaning over to kiss my cheek "I love you- don't be mad at me forever, after all we have a plane to catch in the morning." and with that he left me to brood all night until I cooled off.

        Yeah, the problem with that is I wasn’t just going to cool off this wasn’t some lovers quarrel where the argument gets resolved with a few kind words and a kiss this was an insane man holding me hostage under the illusion that we have a shot at something together. These were the words I chanted to myself after crawling out the one window in the house I could fit through, my plan was to tie together the blankets he'd given me and use them as a makeshift rope, if I could just get to the ground- I could get out, run on the highway until I found someone to help me, it was worth a shot in my  mind. His apartment was only two floors up, I figured the 'rope' would get me as far as it could and I'd have to jump the rest of the way, if I landed right I wouldn’t be too bruised up, or maybe one of his neighbors would see a girl dangling in the window and say something? It had crossed my mind to just use the front door and ask them for help but after an evening like this one, I knew getting anyone involved with me meant certain death. I couldn’t do that to another person.

        I couldn't be the reason another life was taken.

         I panted like a marathon runner using the adrenaline of the situation to help me hold myself up from the ground- which seemed a lot farther away now might I add- I cursed myself for even coming up with the idea before tapping around the ledge with my foot, just as I found some sense of balance, I was suddenly inches lower than I had been before, I couldn’t fight the yelp from escaping my mouth, my eyes watered not only from the harsh winds but from the new surge of fear that spread through my body like a virus. I peeled my eyes away from the ground to look up at the now torn blanket rope, the tear was small but I could tell my time was running out, I swallowed dryly, it made my throat burn from how dry it was. I thanked the lord I had any form of upper body strength as I continued to inch my way down, the ground was closer now but it was still too far to jump, as soon as my foot touched the next ledge I began to breathe normally again- shit never mind, I felt the stitches of the blanket come undone with every passing second, I forced my gaze away from the floor to assess the damage only to find a body staring down at me- this time I couldn’t hold back the scream. I hung there speechless for a moment- maybe it was just my eyes playing tricks on me?

        Oh wait no its definitely Jin and he doesn’t look happy.

        Well fuck.

        I felt myself stammering for the right words but felt none, I felt the blanket rip again and pressed myself further into the edge of the wall. I tried my best to gently continue my way- if I could just get a few more feet down, then I could jump without too much damage being done. I used the ledge to balance and ignored the searing stare being thrown down at me, he hadn't said a word but suddenly, like in slow motion I watched him untie the knot holding me to the balcony, before I could even think to react he tossed the sheet over the edge, eyes never leaving mine.

        I remember grasping at the air in shock, my fingers desperate to cling to anything to save me. All at once I felt fear like I'd never felt before, betrayal, shock, and most of all I felt am an eerie sense of calm at the thought that this was it.

        I didn’t have to fight anymore.  
Though instead of death, I felt my body make impact with the floor in an almost comedic thud.

        I landed on my side so my leg took most of the fall, I felt blood trickle from somewhere on my face, I couldn’t tell exactly where, the only thing my mind could register was the pain in my leg, the snowflakes falling around me made the whole thing seem unreal, maybe that was just my knocked around brain talking- who knows.

        Not long after I felt something incredibly warm wrap around me then the wet, cold feeling of the ground I was beginning to get used to was gone. When I stopped seeing in doubles, the first thing to come into focus was Jin shuffling around me, at some point he'd taken me back inside and placed me in his bed surrounded by pillows. He said nothing as he grabbed a pair of scissors from the bedside table. I winced when he sat beside me. He met my gaze with a raised eyebrow, the corners of his mouth rose ever so slightly "I need to get that leg checked out and, being that you refuse to wear pants that aren’t skin tight-" he snipped the scissors with a smile "If you don't mind?" I licked my chapped lips, just now noticing the cut lining the side of my mouth "I'd rather just- I don’t know take them off myself?" he looked at me smugly slightly sucking his teeth, "You sure your in any kind of position to move?" I scoffed and pushed myself out if the sitting position not fighting the hiss once my injured leg slid across the soft blanket and onto the floor. I lifted myself off the bed focusing completely pressing my weight onto my left foot, just as I managed to get the button undone I noticed Jin remaining where he sat, unfazed. Despite the situation heat spread through my body  
        "Can you get out?"

        "Oh come on I need to look at your leg anyway- does this matter?" I remained frozen an unimpressed expression rested on my face causing him to scoff slightly before rising and leaving the room. I exhaled in relief and I began sliding the denim over my thighs, my pants hit the floor with a thud curiously enough, I nudged the pile of cloth with my foot, the shiny unmistakable screen of a phone peaked out from my back pocket, amazingly enough the screen was  only slightly cracked from the fall, I stared at the door before hesitantly bending over to swipe the cold object in my hands, without much thought I slipped it into my bra and brought my legs back on the bed, my embarrassment long gone, now replaced with a sudden curiosity, and the urge to escape growing stronger- if I could get away from Jin for long enough I could get a good look at it. I didn’t let my mind sit on where it came from, in the heat of the moment Jungkook slipping his phone in my pocket was easily forgotten, I'm only surprised Jin hasn’t found it yet. Just as that thought slipped my mind three soft knocks came from the other side of the door.

        "Can I come look at your leg now?"

        "Do I even have a choice?"

        He opened the door as a response, now with gauze in his hands. Things were uncomfortably silent as inspected my legs "Well it's not broken, your just gonna be sore these next few days." he made a tsk noise plopping down on the other side of the bed "Traveling's gonna be a bit difficult but then again you did kind of do this to yourself." I scoffed gripping the comforter he'd thrown over my legs moments ago as to not reach over and strangle him.

         "I wouldn't have fallen if you hadn't of thrown the damn rope." he turned to look a me with a roll of his eyes "Yeah well I wouldn’t have had to done that if you hadn't tried such a stupid thing in the first place- and to think I was beginning to trust you." he sounded hurt, I almost felt sorry.

 Then again I have no doubt in his head he was the victim here.

        "Trust me?-" I shook my head unable to wrap it around the entirety of the situation.

How dare he? I thought, a red hot anger began to bubble over in my chest with every labored breath I took

         "You say that like I'm the bad guy here- from day one you've been playing and manipulating me-" his head snapped in my direction with a glare that put that fire right out. If I was a dog my tail would be in between my legs.

        "From day one I've done everything for you." his voice was getting dangerously low, definitely not a good sign.

        "I took you away from a man who would have gotten you killed, I got rid that piece of filth that was your boss, I took you away from a life of struggle- you never have to worry about anything now," his voice softened as he pushed a ratted piece of my hair behind my ear. "You never have to worry about money, or perverts trying to take advantage of you- I gave that all to you," his hand went from caressing my cheek to gripping my shoulder "-and you don't even have the decency to stay?" his voice cracked as he said this causing me to cast my fearful gaze from the door to his face, now inches from mine.  
        "You took away everything."

        "I gave you everything!" he shouted making me flinch, his hand now wove its way into my hair, his grip firm enough to keep me still but not enough to hurt.

        "If it were up to me I'd punish you now- but then again your gonna have a hard enough time walking as it is." his hand snapped my head to fully face him, "You think you have everything figured out, don't you? Ever stop to wonder if Namjoon even wants you back hm?" his lips dug into the skin of my cheek and neck and he dragged his mouth anywhere he could see, my hands were wrapped around his wrists as a weak response to his actions, I told myself if I had my full strength I'd push him away but even I don’t know if it was true.

        "Funny how you assume he still cares." I inched away until my back hit the headboard trying to focus on his cruel words instead of how electrifying his mouth felt whispering against my ear.

        "It's funny how you assume I'd go running back to him."

He pulled away, lips red and cheeks flushed, to smile at me. "Aw sweet heart, you have no one else."

 

        "Ever stop to wonder maybe I'm just trying to get away from you?" his hands fell from my face, only then did I take a moment to look at the position we'd found ourselves in, he sat with either leg onside of me leaning over unnecessarily close, his hands slithered their way to my waist making the entire thing more intimate than needed. Suddenly he dissolved into a fit of giggles "I don't think I'll ever fully understand you."

        "Yeah well- same here buddy."

        "No seriously- I could wrap my hands around your neck and squeeze until you stopped twitching- and you still manage to have an attitude with me."

I shrugged my shoulders making his smile widen.

        "God I love you."

        "Funny way of showing it," I grunted moving my hands up to hold the sides of his face surprising us both.

        "I don’t know what you're doing to me Seokjin, I mean a few minutes ago you kinda threw me too my death and here we are, in a very compromising position, and for some reason, I haven't thrown you off yet."

I had no idea what I was doing, I knew I hated him- at least some part of me did, but the rest was unsure. His hands wrapped around my own before interlacing them with a small squeeze

        "That’s because you care about me- whether you like it or not." I rolled my eyes but couldn’t find it n me to pull away.

        Maybe I was tired of arguing, maybe its because I knew some part of that was true, I mean I knew I pitied him, the way he's lived, the life he's known, but I also knew what he wanted for the two of us would never work out- it wasn’t in our cards to be anything more than we were now- I don’t even know what we were now-  and yet when he leaned in to close the small gap between us in a feverish kiss, I found myself, not reeling away in disgust and trying to get away but leaning into him, wrapping my hands around his neck and pushing myself up against him despite my wounds screaming in protest, we were kneeling on the bed at this point, the blankets a muddled mess beneath us, completely lost in the taste of each other, my heart felt as if it had stopped beating but the numbing feeling of whatever it is that was happening was like a high I couldn’t pull away from him.

        Whatever it is that happened last night left me confused sure, but I knew no matter what I had to go. It kept me up well into the morning, I finally decided to do something with the restless energy and limped my way into the living room, as far as Jin was concerned I was making some breakfast, in reality, I was in the bathroom trying to turn on the phone, after anxiously holding the power button the screen flickered on much to my relief. I held my body against the door just in case, also making sure to turn the faucet on to muffle whatever was about to happen. With a sigh, I started at the password encrypted phone. 'of course it's locked.' the only hope I had now was to wait for someone to call or- well there's a chance I could use a text from someone to call them but who knows who would pick up? If they even would anyway. After all, I knew nothing about this Jungkook guy if he rolled with Namjoon I'm not sure I wanted to know who'd be texting him. For once luck was on my side because there were a few notifications on the phone and one happened to be a message. I stared at it conflicted. Though I had no time to wonder because Jin was up and wondering the house. I hit the tiny call button on the notification and waited. I was nowhere near ready for the conversation that followed. Once he hung up I sat there for a good minute wondering if that was even real or if I'd just finally lost it and imagined the whole thing. I choose to believe in what little hope I had left and painstakingly shoved the phone back in my boot trying my best to avoid the bruises. I took a breath before exiting and tossing myself on the couch with a sigh. I had no clue what this guy had planned - if he was even coming that is.

        "Hey, our flight leaves in a few hours so we should probably head out," Jin called from the kitchen. I hobbled my way into the doorway to stare at his lean frame lean over the sink. "No way I can talk you out of this?"

He turned around, a faint smile gracing his features "Let me think about it- no."

        "I don't know if we have to leave Seoul- I mean sure you gunned a man down in public but don’t you do that for a living anyway?" he huffed out a laugh before shutting the tap off and drying his hands "Yes but those men don't usually work directly with ruthless Kim."

        "I'm sorry am I supposed to know who that is?"

        "It's Namjoon's nickname on the street. No one likes to cross paths with him." I ignored the unsettled feeling in my stomach and tried to think of more ways to stall Jin. "Okay since I can't convince you otherwise- can you at least tell me where were going?"

He pushed himself away from the counter and pulled me into his chest by my waist "When we went on that date in the park- you told me you'd always wanted to go to New York so."

        "Jin what the- okay I admire the fact that you bothered to listen to me but what are we gonna do out there? I don't suppose you'll let me get a job."

        "Sure you can- if you change your name." I smacked his chest but his grip on my tightened "I'm kidding- relax princess I've taken care of everything."

         I spent hours getting ready to leave either distracting Jin with questions of waiting for someone to show up to the door guns a' blazing.

        It was all very stressful really because Jin seemed to have thought of literally everything, he had more than enough money for the tickets, a hotel suite already booked and told me we'd be apartment shopping within the week. I won't lie for a moment I found myself calling the whole thing off with the stranger from the phone, after all, I trusted Jin a whole lot more than someone I didn’t know- plus he seemed so genuinely excited- but then I'd remind myself, he wasn’t giving me a choice. He was ripping me away from my little life and sure it was far from perfect but it was mine.

        He thought he knew what was best for me but I refused to have it.

        I couldn’t shake the loom of guilt for whatever was about to happen, though.

        We'd left for the airport covered from head to toe in winter clothes. To the outside eye we looked well prepared for any kind of harsh winter weather but in reality, Jin wanted to hide us as best he could without wearing a full blown disguise.

        He may have been a monster but the man was smart.

        I excused myself once we were fully seated at the terminal to the bathroom, he'd made an offhand comment about me just holding it till we got on the plane but I insisted it was an emergency, he smiled, very forced, and pulled me in for a hug only to whisper "Try to run and I'll kill that cute little family over there."

        I yanked away from him horrified and glanced at the small family waiting to board with us. I gave him the harshest glare I could muster before waddling off to the bathroom. The bright lights made my ever growing headache intensify and the worst part was how it kind of smelled like a hospital- yuck.

        I pulled the almost dead phone from my shoe knowing as soon as we have to board and go through those scanners their gonna detect it and the whole plan would come crashing down. What was the plan you ask? Yeah, I had no fucking idea because of Yoongi- the mystery man from the phone- had yet to provide me with the details of our grand escape. When I'd gotten the chance to call him I tried to ask as politely as I could where the fuck he was because we were about to go to the airport he mentioned about getting something from a friend which would help and how he'd give it to me in time, what that meant I had no idea.

        I called him three times before he finally picked up

        "Jeez, you're impatient."

        "I like to think if the roles were switched you'd be a little stressed too!"

        "I just had to sneak past security for a moment chill."

        "Why did you have to sneak past-"

        "What I'm bringing you wouldn’t exactly go through well at customs." I could hear the frantic background chatter of the airport scene behind him which calmed me a little.

        "God I hope you didn’t bring me a gun because I don’t know if I could shoot a man in front of a thousand people."

I heard him scoff before muttering something under his breath "Listen- you're in the bathroom right."

        "Yeah right outside my gate why?"

        "I'm gonna bring you something- make sure to slip it into his drink okay."

        "Yeah um I'm not sure about that- how are you gonna get it to me without him noticing-"

        "Trust me okay? And be ready I'm almost there."

        "He just threatened to kill an entire family if I try to run so I hope this works."

        "Yeah me too." I hung up and tossed the phone back in my boot before splashing my hands under the sink, almost instantly a body crashed into mine sending me to the floor, a few gasps were heard and I tried to gather myself but before I could raise a hand wrapped around mine, I opened my mouth to thank the stranger when I felt a tiny, cold bottle be slipped into the very hand they were holding. My eyes jumped up to stare at the face of the beautiful stranger, he stared at me with calculating eyes "Careful miss." and before I could respond he disappeared into the sea of bodies. The small concerned crowd disappeared allowing me to make my way back over to where Jin sat nervously tapping his foot.

        "What happened with that big crowd over there?"

        "I fell."

        He snorted with a shake of his head "I leave you alone for five minutes." I shook my head and took my seat next to him, I could feel the small bottle burning a hole in my pocket so I scanned the area for anything he could be drinking. My heart began to work in overdrive once I noticed a small coffee, only about a sip left sitting by his foot.

        "Hey, is that yours?"

He looked down and picked it up before offering me the cup.

        "No it's okay I was just asking." he raised his eyebrow before downing the rest of the contents, I eyed the cup in despair- this definitely wasn’t gonna work.

        He took my look in a different way causing him to laugh. He smiled before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a twenty. "If you wanted one all you had to do was ask." I nodded sheepishly before taking the bill and walking over to the kiosk where they served coffee. I could feel myself shaking as I poured creamer into the darkness swirling at the bottom of the disposable cups

What was I going to do? I couldn’t just force him to take a sip of mine that be too suspicious-

        "Grab me another one will you? I wanna read on the plane," he called out making me jump. I nodded before turning back around and grabbing another cup, I poured the coffee best I could with my shaky fingers and thanked god a thousand times on the short walk over, I made sure to leave my cup black so I knew for sure which one had whatever it is Yoongi gave me in it. I took a sip of the bitter liquid ignoring the shudder it made roll down my spine. I tried to watch the crowd, trying my hardest not to look over and check if he was drinking. It took every ounce of control not to scream when he nuzzled his face in my neck, every breath he puffed out against my skin smelled of the sweet drink. I looked up just in time to meet the cold eyes of Yoongi a few feet away, he would have completely blended in if I wasn’t looking for him. "Thank you." Jin suddenly spoke up tearing me from my thoughts "For what?" I asked not looking away from the man across the room.

        "You saved me."

This grabbed my attention enough for me to look down at the man leaning on me. "I saved you from what?"

        "Myself…everything I hate about life just…" he fluttered his fingers in the air, his voice becoming slurred "- just vanishes, y-your even going cross the world just to start a life with me- thank you. God, I love you, I really do and I swear ima treat you better okay baby?" I felt a sting in my eyes fro some reason but pushed it away to grab his hand and rub circles into it. "Okay, Jin." when I looked up again Yoongi was nowhere to be seen which worried me until I turned to see him sitting a few seats away from me. I looked back to Jin once I heard him start to cough.

        "You okay?" he pulled back as if to answer but interrupted himself with another cough, the sound tore through his throat like some kind of beast making him gasp, he reached down to what was left of his coffee to help clear his throat but only coughed harder once he swallowed, something horrible began to happen. The foam cup in his hand landed with a small thump and his dry coughs began producing blood.

        His body was on the floor in seconds, his veins bulging an unnaturally deep blue color and the whites of his eyes were blood red from how hard he coughed, he convulsed gasping for air, his hands scratched at his throat as if he was trying to rip something out, red marks were left where he dragged his nails, his body tensed and untensed as he tried to breathe blood began to drip from his nose, I placed my hand on his chest frantically feeling for a heartbeat I knew must have been fading. "J-Jin what's wrong? Can you hear me? Come on baby breathe for me okay." my voice was cracked as I wiped away at the blood around his mouth with the sleeve of my coat, tears burned at my eyes making the world blurry, the crowd that formed around us gasped in horror, someone shouted for a doctor, somehow his hand had found mine and grasped at t like I was the thing keeping him alive. All at once I was ripped away in the opposite direction, my head snapped up ready to scream only to be met by Yoongi's stern gaze "Now's not the time to feel sorry we got to go before the cops show up." His grip was like iron as he continued to pull me out a door and into the frozen outside air, in a flash we were in a car cluttered with technology.  
         Almost like reading my mind he apologized for the mess "Didn’t really expect any company anytime soon uh, yeah." I allowed my heart to slow down before wiping away at the tear stains on my face.

        I couldn’t find my voice, no questions seemed like the right one to ask though I had many. Like did I just kill a man? If so am I more upset about the fact that I took a life or that it was Seokjin's? Why was this stranger being so kind and risking so much to save me? My silence must have worried him because he pulled over and wiggled around in his seat clearly trying to say something.

        "Uh I'm sorry- you had to go through that I mean." I nodded still unable to find the will to speak, it felt as if my tongue was suddenly made from cement.

        "Everything's gonna be fine soon enough." I was too busy replaying today's events in my head to notice the nervous way he shifted in his seat when he spoke, or the way he toyed with the dashboard of his car, fingers slightly grazing the cold metal of his hidden firearm, before thinking twice and pulling away to glance at my shaken figure.  
        "It's all gonna be just fine."


	8. Author note!!!

Why hello there beautiful people quick little thing, I was typing up the next chapter and started to wonder what you might want more/less of with my writing.  
Please Feel free to message me with your comments concerns and suggestions thank you very much 


	9. Important update/Hiatus

Holy shit guys it's been forever! I never thought I'd be posting this but those who have waited for me to update deserve an explanation for the lack of, well anything. See I'm a senior in high school so it's pretty easy to get caught up in work and lose focus on your passions, I've written and rewritten the next part of this story and it always comes back out as trash, as an avid reader of fan fiction myself I hate when authors go on hiatus but I understand, I do plan on finishing this but only once my passion can come back for it and I won't put out a super shitty chapter, I hope that's soon because I genuinely love this series but my motivation is completely gone, I hope whoever reads this has a wonderful day! Thank you all so much for the kudos and sweet comments, I hope I can come back soon and not disappoint y'all <3


	10. Not an update but also kind of an update

Y'ALL IM BACK AND OFFICIALLY OFF HIATUS it's summer time which means I have plenty of free time and my motivation for this bad boy came back with new crazy ideas I feel so thankful for you guys having this story bookmarked even though I haven't updated in forever but yeah! I'll stop rambling and get to the point! I'm updating soon and I hope you'll enjoy where I'm taking things, with much love,

\- M.C


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